Sunday, May 20, 2012
never knew unresolved pain could still hurt that much, until it reaches conscious levels
accumulated from that time, and the other time...
Cases in point: like that one from the church camp 4 years back
oh and also the one from (yet another) church camp 7 years back..
maybe it started out with me/us being overly sensitive, too expectant, avoidant (but but but such rationalising never really works)
so perhaps you could also throw into the mix the-pk-status, childhood resistance
poor PIE fit, exclusion...
bad experiences do have more power to hinder us than we imagine & i fear its unfolding effects
11:50 PM MASQUERADE!
Monday, April 23, 2012
set fire to the rain?
on the contrary, i really felt more rain
there's always the same old habits, withdrawal and hesitancy that greets me whenever the time for __ comes.
how i truly know that i ought to do more than be just a weekly food buyer & couch critic; how i know they're probably disappointed and frustrated at the same old cycle (though they're not saying a word)
sometimes, i really feel that deep down inside, i have nothing to offer
12:10 AM MASQUERADE!
Thursday, April 12, 2012
snippets from sem 2 of my social work journey...- social justice is part of social work (no matter how much the establishment may try to diminish it)
- sensitivity & care for others' needs starts right now as a student (cue our 2106 tutorial blow-wind-blow misstep)- we have a duty to speak up for our profession
- social work seek to venture beyond unjust laws/ rigid hierarchies / ingrained mindsets
- values values values
and an utterly thought-provoking one
- why do we need to fear the 'stigma of association'?
11:04 PM MASQUERADE!
Monday, April 02, 2012
indeed, jobs cannot mandate that you 'care from the heart'( not even the helping professions)
without caring, one may still function really well, help 100s of clients, solves 1000s of cases...
but therein lies the danger,
dangers of falling in to the technician -trap
indeed, many things in life (and in church) , we do because 'we have to'
are obliged, expected to..
when instead, love should compel us to do
time to examine my motivations & intentions
how timely that it comes before field placement, thank God
11:50 PM MASQUERADE!
Monday, February 20, 2012
latest craze in the form of bubujingxin (never expected to actually like a mainland chinese drama) & its songs- in some way reigniting my affiliations with the language since hcl days..
一眼之念 一念执著
注定就此飞蛾扑火
明知是祸 为何还不知所措
how beautifully written & sung (:
12:29 AM MASQUERADE!
Sunday, February 12, 2012
reticent?
seemingly so, but desperately trying not to be so
desiring & longing (but not doing anything)
resistant?
admittedly yes-taking the form of strong silence
(arguably the best form of protest)
yet
by maintaining this persistence,
i'm only widening the distance,
keeping myself stuck in this rut & viciously secure cycle
grrr
11:20 PM MASQUERADE!
Friday, January 20, 2012
Joy, unspeakable joy
Somehow or rather, things start to be looking up. Strangely it all seems to be better when you are brutally honest & finally get the chance to open up..
Not so strange after all, considering how God works
11:37 PM MASQUERADE!
